ISOLATION By Opa
When our first child was born, my wife and I protected her. From everything. From heat, from cold, from hunger and thirst, from wet diapers, and, most of all, from germs. We sterilized her bottles and everything else that might come within ten feet of her. Eventually a solitary germ must have breached the barriers because she acquired a thrush infection in her mouth. It was a little alarming, but she recovered nicely. We began to realize that perhaps natural immunity might be more effective protection from the normal environment. When the second child arrived we were a bit wiser and much too busy to take the same precautions as the first time. When she learned to crawl, she occasionally ate crumbs off the floor. No problems, healthy in all respects. Natural immunity at work.
Today we all face isolation in a different way. We seek protection from opposing attitudes, ideas, and points of view. Democrats are the devil’s handiwork, or Republicans are too stupid to govern anything, even themselves. Opposing viewpoints and ideas are unpleasant and avoided as much as possible. We choose to read only the news sources that agree with us. Online news outlets learn our prejudices and cater to them. Click on any item and we are presented a dozen more similar ones. YouTube knows what we like.
Isolation on a human level is worse. We have family members and friends whom we regard as the enemy because of their opposing and therefore nonsensical ideas. And they avoid us for the same reasons. Family gatherings are often scary, with loved ones fearing confrontation. Work relationships become frosty and superficial. We want to hang out only with people like us.
We are a divided people. Perhaps ‘fractured’ says it better since our divisions are not simply separate groups, but mutually antagonistic. We are conservative vs. liberal, Democrat vs. Republican, white vs. black, gay vs. straight, urban vs. rural. Each group tries to isolate itself from the poisons they perceive in those Other People. Our own worried vulnerability wants to attack. The isolation is tragic and easily nourished. We choose either Fox News or CNN (never both) to hear what we want to hear. We all love YouTube because it knows how to please us. We spend time with family and friends who are like minded. Our love of isolation feeds on itself.
But occasionally cracks appear in the walls of separation. We hate homosexuality until our beloved Uncle Abner comes out as gay. We don’t trust blacks (or whites) until the favorite niece marries out of her race to a wonderful man. A despised politician unexpectedly bolts to our way of thinking. Differences evolve or appear and disappear with astounding frequency. Remember WWII? Well, Germany and Japan are now our trusted allies. And North Vietnam is a vacation hotspot for Americans. (Thank goodness North Korea is still our enemy; got to have somebody to hate.) But you know how to destroy an enemy: make them our friend.
Separating ourselves from clearly harmful people is necessary. Serial killers and child molesters are definitely to be avoided. But in some cases the danger we perceive from others is an illusion. Differences are not necessarily harmful. We may feel threatened by them when the real threat is fearing our own vulnerability.
Now the good news: you and I are wrong some of the time. More good news: everybody else is wrong much of the time too. This means all of us are correct at least part of the time. Isolation will make our antagonisms fester. Understanding the Other Side’s ideas, feelings, and particularly their motivation fosters tolerance even if not agreement. Stand your ground but give the benefit of the doubt even when there is no doubt. Isolation hurts, tolerance heals.